Runners Log: First Half Marathon
I’m 37 years old and I ran my first half marathon today in Chico, CA. It was a beautiful drive there and Chico was amazing. Groves of trees, cows, horses. The 13.1-mile path was 2 laps thru Bidwell Park. The trees were huge, gnarled beasts. It looked as if they just dug in and held on. It occurred to me as I ran that that was what I needed to do. Dig in and run. I’m never trying to beat anyone, but I want to win. Win a feeling of accomplishment, self-respect, pride, more confidence, and higher self-esteem. I want to be an example to my children. I want to dig in and be strong. I run for myself. My selfish time. It’s quiet, no one demands anything of me. I still have the role of wife, mother, employee but when I run I’m a woman. A badass. I’m myself. I feel free and lost in thought. I love the euphoria, the exhaustion, the aching.
Brianna came with me. I’m so glad. I thought a lot about her during my run. From the moment I knew I was pregnant, I’ve been determined in a different way. More fierce. More intense. Having her made me want to be better in every way and now that she’s almost16 I realize that she has been a big part of why I push myself. To be stronger, more determined, disciplined, laid back, funny, smart. For all my kids. The proudest thing in my life is being a mom. Brianna was the beginning of me becoming the woman I am and I like who I am. I saw seven hawks while I ran. Twelve more after. God is awesome!