Balancing Work, Home, Kids, And That Elusive Thing Called Self-Care
Do you drive home from work, using that much-needed time to decompress, to shift gears from “corporate mindset” to “Mommy mode”? To a house that needs to be cleaned up, to kids who need help with homework, disputes, laundry, showers, processing of emotions, discipline, and love. Do you gear up to make dinner, get things in order, connect with the kids and do all the things necessary just to maintain? Perhaps in the shift of world events, you’re working from home with kids, trying to figure out distance learning or new school rules, and which pants match your slippers?
There were so many days I didn’t even consider more than just maintaining. There seemed to be no energy to connect more deeply, to dig in, sit and really listen to my kids or my friends, and I would hear the words “self-care” and cringe.
In my work life, there was never a job I worked that didn’t want more. More hours, more productivity, more corporate income. They also wanted less. Fewer breaks, fewer sick days, fewer kids calling, fewer distractions from my home life.
My kids wanted more also — more of me.
I wanted time to breathe. Time to pray, time to process, time to get more done, time for more sleep, time to do something for me. Mostly I wanted to stop feeling like I was failing on every front. I hit rock bottom in a glorious explosion of tears, running mascara, uncertainty, insecurities, snot, fear, and resistance. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. It was the moment I dug deep and made changes.
I learned to build…
- Better relationships
- Career fulfillment
- Better health
- Clarity about your purpose
- More intimacy
- Better time management
At my turning point, I decided if what I was doing wasn’t working, I would need to change things, and I used a few things to help:
- Calendar. I started scheduling everything so that I could really see my day, where I had time, where I needed it, what could go and what should stay the same.
- Workout program. I paid for a program on a running team. I had the support and accountability I wanted and many workout options available to be able to exercise before kids were up and later at night. I could also bring them with me to some activities.
- I found a church to attend and signed up for a class. I needed support spiritually, so I found what worked for me.
- Facebook groups that resonated with me helped me connect with other women who were on the same journey as I was or were ahead of me. They became support and resources.
I wanted to turn my life around.
To change the way I thought and acted and achieve my goals.
To stop being a victim of circumstance, but excuses aside and take full responsibility for my life!
Once I did that, I decided what I wanted in life, accepted I could achieve anything I’d ever wanted, and make every day count.
If I could do it, you can too!
I know there are people out there like I was…stuck. Maybe you’ve sat on your bathroom floor where I was, ugly, crying and wanting more.
One thing I learned is to stop doing what others expect you to do and do what you feel you need to do. For you, for your kids, for your career, for your sanity.
Act according to your feelings and set your mind on what you desire, and act on it.
Jenn is Mom of 18, Transformational Coach for Christian women, host of At A Crossroads with The Naked Podcaster, Author, Runner, Minimalist, & Healthy Lifestyle Advocate
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